Parenthood and The Caregiver

I have a ton of thoughts I want to share, but lately it seems the days have been filtered much the same as a water painter would do in a  wash of grey.  Okay.  Just an excuse for being unmotivated. 

Last night we "spun" up an episode of a T.V. show we watch when our life allows.  Can anyone say On Demand.

The show is about a multi-generational-dysfunctional family.  I think, it is more like a show about any of our families or families that we know.  High energy doesn't mean dysfunctional in my book.  

By the time the show was over there wasn't a dry eye in the house.  I can't stand inane TV but this time the writers got it right.

Let me set it up as quick as I can.  Picture a whirlwind of poopy diapers, elderly drivers, adoption, aspergers, candy machines, misplaced love, unrequited sixteen year old love, trying to manage angst into energy, grandpa's hidden heart condition, man too young for woman, man too old for same woman etc.  In the center of this maelstrom of life is a woman and husband that just found out she has breast cancer.

Why am I writing about this?  Well, it is one episode on T.V. that the producers, writers and actors got right.  Remember.  Somehow they, the writers, captured the "where do I go now" feeling after you first  hear the heart sinking word....Cancer.


God love the caregiver, whether your care giver is the love of your life, a family caregiver, or the insurance idea of care giver I hope they all love you and want the best for you.  

The one's of us with the disease need to remember, just like it is for ourselves, it is the same for those that love us...battling the Effing Evil Empire is a new thing and everyone is scared and it is a team effort.

So back to the episode.The show wife, faced her husband in tears [I was sobbing at this point] and said:

"[character] you have to promise me you can't always tell me everything is going to be all right.  You have to let me be scared [her word] when I need to. Because some days I'm going to be scared and some days I'm not going to feel like things are going to be all right."

On the days you are "scared" remember that your care giver is sleepless the night before wondering if they've done everything they can for you comfort...and they are "scared". 

This disease really really sucks.
 

Talk to you later



 

Zoladex, Shep and Want To

Sorry for the interruption my Zoladex inquiring readers.  Club 815 was one of the most amazing things to happen to anyone.  It was especially amazing to those fighting the evil empire and their care givers who fight alongside. 

First let me say I’m not a Doctor, don’t play one on T.V. and certainly don’t fake one on this blog.  Any side effects or anything I say can be and very well might be completely bogus.  All I have to go by is what I've read and what happens to me while fighting the Evil Empire here to fore known, thanks to a very close friend as the “Effing Evil Empire”.  Short hand from here on out will be E³

I don’t know if any of you guys ever had a male dog.  If you did, you’d remember that dog being lithe, fast, maybe a great pointer and just a little nuts [yes I did that on purpose sorry] jumping into frozen December ponds and retrieving birds you could have dropped thirty feet closer. Recall the stink eye you'd get while your dog came into the blind?  If that isn’t a testosterone booster T.V. commercial I don’t know what is.

Later though, you get married, become successful and at every dinner party old Shep is humping a leg.  When Shep is doing his thing to the leg of your wife’s boss, well, enough becomes enough and you are told to take Shep to the Vet. 

Remember what happened to Shep after that visit to the Vet?  He grew a great big belly that made you think he might have pups any minute.  He’d lie around and occasionally lick his….never mind.  He became a little forgetful, not always in the moment.  The neighbors hot poodle would come prancing by and all Shep could do is roll over a sigh.  Remember that?

Well guys you are not Shep.  Testosterone is Miracle Grow for prostate cancer.   If you are unfortunate enough to end up fighting the Prostate version of E³ you will find yourself in some Shep like situations due to the Zoladex [or any other hormone treatment] hopefully none involving your wife’s boss’s leg. 

The fact is your body will change tremendously.  Hot flashes that drench your linen to the point you begin to understand what every woman lives with sooner or later.  Hot flashes in a meeting when soon all in attendance think your sweat soaked face means you have Ebola and want to run screaming. Muscle mass.  Patience....and so on.

I’ve lost most of my body hair.  I’ve grown in some disturbingly womanly places and shrank in other of the manly.  Emotionally if you cried when watching “Old ‘Yeller” you won’t cry any harder.  For me, the lack of testosterone makes me more aggressive i some situations though I’ll cry as I always have when watching “Where The Red Fern Grows.”  There is no chance, none at all, that I will be singing in the Vienna Boys Choir.  I still can't miraculously knit, crochet or quilt.

It is, and will be different for every guy; this subtraction of testosterone, but think of your partner.  Your partner isn’t suffering from the “I don’t want to.”  Your partner is suffering from the ”I very much want to.”  Believe it or not many men are fortunate enough to rise to the occasion when persuaded.  Others, with a little imagination, may have to come up with more inventive ways assuaging their partners “want to.” 

There are certainly other side effects, some life threatening, but I think the Shep Effect probably weighs heaviest on the minds of both patient and care giver.  E³, especially the prostate kind, introduces a huge dose of humility in us men.  Rephrase, any invasion of E³ introduces humility in anyone’s life man, woman or Shep.

Shep.  Shep.  Down boy down!

Talk to you later.

If anyone wants more info they can email me with questions.