Got your breath back boyos?
I’m sure you do as the first part of my soap box post was
fairly benign. Whoa a pun! What did we learn? We learned that a PSA test is a painless
blood test. We learned that the annual
hopeful slender finger intrusion is uncomfortable but only sixty seconds uncomfortable
at the most.
So for those of you guys that got it from reading part one
of this blog, read no further. You don’t
have to. You get it and I suspect you’ve
made an appointment.
This installment is for you middle guys that don’t get it and for
the women who know her guy doesn’t get it.
Why the cocky attitude?
Read on and remember; at our age, caught this late boys this disease is the number two killer of men in the U.S.
So once a Doc says you might have cancer they refer
you. For prostate cancer they refer you
to both an Urologist and a Oncologist.
My personal doctor [pcp] was right on with referring me to an amazingly
talented oncologist. Later, I can't figure out how, I ended up with WORLD CLASS Cancer care. Amazing. Sorry I digress.
I had no idea what
my doc meant when he said “the urologist I’m referring you to, well his bed
side manner needs some work”. I was
later to learn he was referring to Dr. Doom.
Whirl Wind! I don’t
care how adaptable you are the word "cancer" enters the conversation and your
brain turns to twirling oat meal.
A day
after I’m told 2640 PSA and a week before my first oncology visit I’m in Dr.
Doom’s office for a Digital Exam. For
you guys that don’t remember part one of this blog segment, digital means toes or fingers. Hopefully your
Urologist will use his/her fingers.
My wife is with me that day that I was supposed to have a
biopsy. We were called into Dr. Doom’s
office and I immediately learned from the world renown Dr. Doom, that I would die in the clinics parking lot in five minutes,
shouldn’t snow ski, [never have] or fly. I nodded like
a dumb ass puppy and said “yep, ok”.
Doctor Doom was affirmed later my chemo nurses and research folk that knew him
He asked some other questions and found out part of my
medical regime involved aspirin. Dumb ass me all these years I thought I was
in danger of heart attack. That made me
a bleeder and he couldn’t do the biopsy that day.
Looking forward from that moment, glad he
made that call. [Remember why you are reading this…your reading this because
you can’t stand 60 seconds of digital examination]. But he could do that day a “Digital Exam”.
Wifeless I go into the room.
In retrospect I laugh about that.
I didn’t want her to see what he, or I thought he, was going to do to
me. Thankfully she, my wife let me cling to her and scream the next
week while Dr. Doom did the biopsy. [Clueless guy I will write about that i you really need it].
I think that most men feel that “the finger” is
humiliating. Sorry no. I do know it is uncomfortable for me and many
of you. Here’s your choice:
I walked into an examine room filled with hoses and long
things. Standing in the room was a
smokin’ hot Scandinavian beauty in a white smock holding her hand out and
introducing herself to me, the new non-confirmed prostate cancer patient.
I smile sheepishly not knowing why this woman was there, with
me, waiting to watch [I hoped not] a soon to retire Doc stick his finger up my
prostates neighbor. Her reply to my tacit question questioning look was, “I’m shadowing Dr. SoandSo
[Doom to us]. No way not going to happen!
Dr. Doom says drop your “slacks”, they were jeans [that's how old he is], and put
your elbows on the exam table. All the
while Viking goddess watching.
Things went as you
may expect but more humiliating because this Blonde Valkyrie was watching intently Dr. Doom's every...well what ever all the while being more thorough because of Anya and the fact I'm probably sick.
Doom reminded me to keep my
elbows on the exam table as it is more relaxing, relaxing? My jeans and underwear were a puddle around my
ankles. Anya’ was looking on with
medical interest Dr. Doom gets done
with me.
Annual sixty seconds of uncomfortable? Sixty lousy seconds?. That's all it takes to avoid! Can you guess what happened to me next?
I reach down to pull my jeans and underwear back up to the
waist line they help support. The Nordic goddess touches my shoulder, tenderly
I might add, and says “I’m learning about this disease may I?”
Annually take the sixty seconds boys. If you don’t I’ll make you read about the
biopsy that followed a week later. You don’t want to know anything
about a prostate biopsy and I hope and pray you never have to.
On second thought...Studs...I dare you to read tomorrow’s post.
Talk to you later
No comments:
Post a Comment