Let’s face it, Cancer no matter what kind, well frankly, sucks, sucks for everyone. It sucks for those who are fighting the disease, their spouses, their loved ones, their friends and yes even the care givers. Show me one single oncologist that doesn’t hope to cure this cowardly disease and loan me the money and I’ll go out and buy a hat and eat it.
Speaking from experience with the 2:00 A.M. crying jags, the 3:00 A.M. anger jags and the 1:00 A.M. pity jags I get how hopeless it can all feel. Throw in the side effects of, in my case being diagnosed terminal, disease management and in other cases, chemo for remission. Financial instability and insecurity is a mental burden too.
The “all of that” can and oft does make one fall into despair, futility and hopelessness. For me, at least those “things” have and do happen.
But today, today I feel none of the above. I still have the hot flashes of a 55 year old woman [having a major one now as a matter of fact]. I still have the manageable pain of bone mets, the side effects of the hormone treatment [I had such nice chest hair so I’ve been told] and I still have Cancer. But things have been postponed. Big things have been postponed.
HOPE….hope
My numbers were up. My Onc [for those of you who don’t know slang for “person who tries”] left it up to me for the next stage of treatment. She also found a research study in its infancy.
I won’t go into detail s it is boring as hell.
I still have cancer and all that goes along with it.
HOPE…the study has stopped my cancer in it’s tracks
HOPE…the study has made me some cancer fighter T-Cells [White blood cells]
HOPE…my research Onc [head of the study] called me a success.
So I blog this why?
I have friends that support me first of all [that’s me being selfish] but really I want to let you know there are some very smart people helping all of us battle this stupid ass cellular circus.
Hope. It’s working for me, two years as of this coming 8/4.
HOPE ..for killing this disease for all of us.
HOPE
Welcome back! I am hoping for you too, and for the few other's I know of who have a cancer battle of there own.
ReplyDeleteIt is always nice to see your smile, then I know you still have Hope! I am betting before you were diagnosed "Hope" was a totally different word.
You appear to be a man of tremendous strength, and fortitude. You walk with your head held high and sometimes even a spring in your step even your cane occosionally appears to have a walk of it's own.
Take care
J.