Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How To Survive The Tube

I hate The Tube.  Really really hate The Tube.  So when I walked into the room today I asked the nurse. 

"Is this really a three hour MRI scan?" 

She looked at the tech the tech confirming that it was a CTL with contrast.  Immediately my mind identified CTL as Cervical, Thorax and Lumbar. Poor Sacral area apparently was being left out of the fun. Just as immediately I wondered how the hell I knew what CTL meant?  Another phrase added in my growing vocabulary of things I wish I didn't know.

"Three hours.  Maybe two and a half."  replied the nurse.

For those of you that hate The Tube as much as I do here's a trick I thankfully learned from a nurse where I normally go for all my scans.  A wash cloth.  Seriously.  Ask you nurse for a dry wash cloth.  After they get done looking at you incredulously, lay down on the table as instructed and drape the wash cloth across your  face.

I have no clue why it helps with those claustrophobic responses that cascade through my psyche at the mere thought of The Tube.  But work it does.  For looking silly.  Trust me there is barely room for you in The Tube let alone any observers.

Try it.  It works.  

Oh yeah.  Don't forget the handful those Xanax pills thirty minutes prior to getting in the tube.  For some reason those seem to provide a calming effect too.

 Talk to you later

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