What's Better 6 inches or 16 Centimeter

Sixteen  centimeters?  How long is that?  Doesn’t sound like much does it?  Nor does it sound very lengthy to me.

Imagine listening to a football game on the radio and the announcer with voice in full drama, “The game comes down to this folks.  The Gamecock’s [yes there is a college team who’s mascot is the Gamecock] season rides on converting this 3^rd and sixteen centimeters.”  You hear that and just have to scoff at the drama.  Even the most bucolic of offenses can pick up sixteen centimeters for lands sake.

How about while reading a novel you discover that the hero has fallen into a pool of quicksand full of alligators and piranhas.

As you read you can’t believe the author is going to do our hero the injustice of an early exit.  Filled with dread for the early demise of the hero you frantically turn the page.  Holding your breath you deflate as you read “The branch dangled sixteen centimeters out of reach of Hero’s finger tips.”  Good god, you’re the hero.  Grab an alligator for leverage and grab the damn branch.  It’s only sixteen centimeters.

Imagine a man in greasy slimy hustle mode walking up to his hope in a bar and saying “Baby I’m packing sixteen centimeters of love.”  Is that impressive?  Maybe it is.  I have no clue but sixteen centimeters doesn’t sound like much of anything.

Or does it?  I think Centi means 100.  I know that a meter is a little over three yards.  So, using my exceptional reasoning abilities sixteen centimeters could be a little over 300 yards.  Further using my amazing powers of deduction there is now way the guy in the paragraph above can have 300 yards of stuff.  Think of what his pants would look like.  No way.  I’m thinking sixteen centimeters is not much to brag about.

So laying in Diagnostic Imaging prior to my pheresis yesterday I watched and listened to a well oiled machine.  The prep team draped me in blue.  Painted my lower neck antiseptic blue.  Rattle of the table being laid out while the buzz of the ultra sound machine searched for the juggler before they called the doctor who would do the insertion. 

All of this bustle in preparation of what they called a central venal catheter or some such.  I hear the nurse say, “I checked his charts and last time he was  sixteen centimeter.

Who knew? 

After my pherisis my ace R.N. in the dialysis room, one of two people accredited to use the machine on humans pulled out the venal/central whatever catheter.  He showed it to me this time.  I found out.

16cm means nothing in football.  16cm means with a little ingenuity our hero could have saved himself.  16cm probably would make more women than would suspect happy.

Sixteen centimeters is approximately 6.299 inches.  6.299 inches is approximately the length of a pen with the cap on [yes greasy hustler guy you aren’t impressive your average].  6.299 inches is huge when plunged into your juggler and headed for your heart.

Wish I had a witty close.  Talk you all tomorrow.